Blinding Light: YM/YW

Every now and again I toss something into the discussion from unexpected sources. Yesterday, I posted a letter to my friend as he embarks on his new calling as YM President. Today I am sharing a musical interlude.

This is a rock song by my favorite band that "speaks" to me. I can't listen to the lyrics without tying them to my concern for my own kids and for the youth of the church. No, the song is most definitely not part of the correlated YM/YM curriculum. Neither am I encouraging anyone to play it for the youth they serve. But there are a couple of thoughts in this song that bounce around in my head that I feel matter. A lot.

Give it a listen. I have also included the lyrics, and I highlighted what I think is of value.  If you don't see any value, it is at least a good song - has a touch of U2 stylings in it.

(By the way, Switchfoot is one of my favorite bands. (I'm sure they would be thrilled that a 50-year-old Mormon Bishop has been to two of their concerts and buys every album they put out - I'm probably an outlier in their normal audience...)

Blinding Light, by Switchfoot. Album: Vice Verses.



Hey boy, don't believe 'em 
The old lies never could come true 
Hey boy, don't believe 'em 
Everything that they told you to 
Hey boy, don't believe 'em 
We're the nation that eats our youth 
Hey boy, don't believe 'em 
None of us are bullet-proof 

Deep down there's a boy inside 
Asleep, waiting for the sun to rise 
Wake up...
Wake up...

Still looking for the blinding light 
Still looking for the reason why 
Still looking for the sun to shine 
Take me higher and higher 
All my life I've been living in the darkest night 
Still looking for the blinding light to take me higher and higher 

Hey girl, be yourself now 
Don't believe what they told you to 
Hey girl, be yourself now 
Your skin is more than a pin-up suit 
Hey girl, don't conform now 
No one else got soul like you 
Hey girl, you're a strong one, but none of us are bullet-proof 
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/s/switchfoot/blinding+light_20978694.html ] 
Deep down there's a hope inside 
You've got wings, but you're scared to fly 
Wake up...
Wake up...

Still looking for the blinding light 
Still looking for the reason why 
Still looking for the sun to shine 
Take me higher and higher 
All my life I've been living in the darkest night 
Still looking for the sun to shine and take me higher and higher 

Deep down there's a hope inside 
Brighter than the fears of my mind 
I keep looking for the blinding light 
It's the hope that keeps me alive 
Wake up...
Wake up...

Keep looking for the blinding light 
Keep looking for the reason why 
Keep looking for the sun to shine 
Take me higher and higher 
All my life I've been living in the darkest night 
Still looking for the sun to rise to take me higher and higher 

The blinding light 
The blinding light 
I've been waiting all my life 
Take me higher and higher 
Blinding light 
You're the vision that gives me sight 
Oh the blinding light 
Take me higher and higher

A YM Epistle to My Friend

One of my best friends was recently called to be a Young Men President. I have been thinking about him a lot, and we haven't had much time to talk, so I am writing down some thoughts to share with him that are based on my past experience as YM President, and as Bishop. Feel free to eavesdrop - hopefully my friend won't mind.

Dear "Jay":

Congratulations on the new calling. It is one that will impact your life forever. Over the next few years you will let a bunch of boys into your heart, and for the rest of your life you will worry about them, and hope for them. And that's a good thing. I've been blessed with the opportunities to serve with the Young Men - three times in Scouting, once as a YM President, and as a Bishop. I figure I've spent well more than a decade serving in the YM program. That gives me a long list of things I have learned. Sadly, the list contains as many things that I think I did poorly, as things I did well. I will share both.

Before you get started - these are just my unsolicited thoughts. I am not your Bishop. I am also not the Holy Ghost. I am not one of the young men holding Aaronic Priesthood keys. I am not one of your counselors. That select group are they who need to help guide and direct you in the work you are undertaking.  But I know you know that...

1) You were called to be the YM President because the Lord and the Bishop trust you implicitly. Be careful - when I was bishop sometimes the level of trust I had in my YM President caused me to withdraw and leave it in his hands. Even though we had one of the best YM presidents I have ever seen, I should have been more involved. The Bishop holds the keys to the Aaronic Priesthood, and has charge over those young men. When I was involved in things like presidency meetings and planning meetings, good things happened. If you don't get frequent PPI's - request them.

2) Serve more with the boys. It is easy to have service opportunities when there are a lot of Eagle projects going on, but I wish that I had dragged more boys out of bed at 6:00am to go do hard, sweaty, blister-making work for the benefit of others. We are raising a generation where many don't know how to work hard.

3) I used to think that there were two extremes in leadership styles: On one end you have those who love the boys with all their hearts and focus on those relationships to the detriment of the program, and on the other end you have those who focus on the quality of the program instead of the relationships. I had come to the conclusion that the place to be was somewhere in the middle. Since then, I have decided that I was describing a flawed spectrum. Of course you have to love the boys with all your heart - but one of the ways you show that love is by running a well-planned program. I would be hard-pressed to make the claim that I love the boys completely if I can't be bothered to plan and prepare for them.

4) Spend personal time with the "one" - let others worry about the 99. Do this as prompted, and in counsel with the key holders in the quorums.

5) Take advantage of the newness of the moment.  Everyone in your ward loves you. You have a tremendous amount of goodwill. You are also new in your calling. A new guy can sit down in a home with a boy or a family and ask ANYTHING. If it is too personal, they will think - "oh, he's just new."  Your "ignorance" gives opportunity to ask questions that would appear meddlesome in 6-8 months. Now is the time to make changes, ask hard questions, extend invitations and challenges, etc.

6) Don't worry about FUN. Fun happens - you don't need to plan for it. A bunch of boys can have as much fun building a fence for a widow as they can playing basketball. Plan activities that are of worth, and fun will follow. (Read this)

7) The mission is not the only goal of an Aaronic priesthood holder. Melchizedek Priesthood comes first, then the temple endowment, then the mission. Don't scrimp on the first two and focus solely on the mission.

8) As we have talked about, Helaman didn't raise the boys in his army. Their mothers did - probably with some help from their fathers. You have your own army of boys, and you can help them and lead them, but ultimately it is the parents job to raise them. However, it is OK for you to be involved. It is OK - if you feel so inspired - to go into the home of a struggling boy and talk to the parents about it. It is also appropriate for you to shout from the mountaintops the importance of FHE, family prayers and scripture study. If you can help the families - you can help the boys. Ward Council is a perfect place to bring these issues up and to enlist the help of the HP, EQ and RS. Be vocal.

9) Always take consecrated oil with you when you go on an activity - you never know.

10) Be tight with the stake YM president. One of the strangest things that I encountered when serving as bishop is that the Stake Youth leaders never consulted with me about what I felt the youth needed from them. Remember, the bishop holds the keys - the stake youth leadership is there to support. Work to be on the same page with the same goals. If they conflict, speak up.

11) Develop and teach shadow leadership skills with the other adult leaders. Yes, I'm sure that all of you could do a better job of planning and executing things than a 13 or 15 year-old boy, but that doesn't make it right. Respect their authority as key-holders. We can talk later about shadow leadership, and it will take hours. (But I have a few tricks...)

12) Ignore anything an everything I've just said if it conflicts with counsel you have received from the Bishop or the Holy Ghost.

13) Enjoy. These boys will be "yours" forever. Twenty years form now you will get a thank-you-note from one of your goofy deacons who lets you know that he is still true to the faith, and you will weep with joy.

My best to you - I know of no other man on the earth who has a better heart, or is better prepared for this than you are.

-MMM-

PS: If you ever need me on Wednesday night, I'll be home. (Hehehe)

Lacing Cards: HP Style

Everybody grew up with lacing cards, right? A sure-fire way to keep the kids reverent during church. I don't see them as often as I used to, and I think it is time to bring them back - to High Priest Group meeting.

Why the High Priests?  Well, lately it has seemed that we tend to veer wildly off topic - often into areas that have little or nothing to do with the lesson. It is amazing how some brethren are so adept that they can figure out a way to interject politics into a lesson about ANYTHING.

So, my hope is that these lacing cards will help some of the brethren stay occupied, so they will comment less. The caards are also topic appropriate - these things tend to come up quite often in class. I tried to make the holes extra-large for arthritic fingers and aged eyesight, because I am just trying to serve my fellow man.

Of course the first two are obvious. A week doesn't go by where one is lauded and the other castigated. Depending on the liberality of your group, I'll leave you to decide which is which.

Here is one of the Constitution. I couldn't find one hanging by a thread, but if you lace it correctly, you could get the idea.

Of course, you have to have a Jimmer for "Twine Time".

But before Jimmer there was Steve - who could Tebow before Tebow was born.

Occasionally the discussion really gets "out there". For those times, here is the "Kolob" card.

Here is a card for the older brethren, just because.

I was also able to find some "vintage" lacing cards. You might be too young to remember them.

The Mark Hoffman

And a really old Jedediah M. Grant card

And last, an iPhone card, so that perhaps we will play with this instead of our real iPhones.

lds satire mormon humor humorist

Sleepy Talk

This morning I gently woke my EC this morning. She stretched, yawned and uttered the following phrase:

"Santorum is on the bottom of pots and pans."

I thought "Wow! Pretty early in the morning for philosophical political commentary." I left the room to roust the rest of the family for scriptures. (This is at 5:55am - they needed plenty of rousting- especially my roust-proof FOML3)

Later in the morning I asked my wife what she meant. Apparently it wasn't political at all. During her sleep, her subconscious had convinced her that "Santorum" was the non-stick coating on the bottom of pans - like "Teflon".

Her Santorum comment was good, but she has done better. In her defense, it is a rare thing when she talks in her sleep, but occasionally she amazes me.  My favorite:

One night she repeatedly shook my shoulder - I fought to claw my way out of a deep sleep. It was 3:15am.

"Honey, honey, wake up!"

Now alert and worried, I asked "What is it?"

"All chopsticks are tapered." She stated flatly.

She rolled over and went back to sleep, leaving me wide awake thinking about chopsticks.

The next night -same exact thing: 3:15am

"Honey, honey, wake up!"

Again alert and worried, I asked "What is it?"

"Nevermind." She stated flatly.

She rolled over and went back to sleep, leaving me wide awake thinking about...chopsticks.

---

My eldest FOML has a sleep walking/talking problem. I have decided that for her dowry, I will present her new husband with a lifetime supply of earplugs.

FOML4 is a wild and crazy sleeper. He talks, he yells, he thrashes around. I think that for his eventual wedding I will present a pair of his-and-hers lacrosse helmets for the happy, sleepless couple.

.

Not So Hard to Swallow

Warning:  This post is not funny, nor is it profound. It doesn't deal with current events, or religious doctrine. This post has a little something to do with parenting, and no, I am not suffering from over-exposure to Mommy Blogs.

Some of the ladies I work with were discussing how much they hate taking pills, and how difficult it is for some of their children. I listened for a bit, and then suggested that they wrap it in American cheese and shove it into the back of their throat, because that's what works with our dog. They weren't too keen on that idea. So I asked them if they had ever heard of another trick I knew to make it easier. None of them had ever heard of it!  I was surprised, and very happy, because it is a rare occurrence that I know something that the ladies in my office don't already know.

So I figured that since none of them knew this trick, a few of you might not know it either. If you do, then I apologize for wasting your time. If this is new for you, no thanks are necessary - just doin' my job.


Here is the trick - and I have no idea when or where I learned it:


There are two kinds of pills. Two. There are "Sinkers" and there are "Floaters".

"Sinkers" are pills like vitamins, caplets, round Advil, pain pills, etc. They are solid, and often have an indentation where you can break them in half.

"Floaters" are the plastic-covered capsules. They usually come in colors, they are full of powder. Lots of antibiotics are capsules - and they taste really nasty if they start dissolving before you swallow them.









First:  Determine if the pill you are taking is a sinker or a floater, then choose one of the following:

If it is a floater, take a mouthful of water, close your mouth, and tilt your head down so you are looking at the floor. Take the capsule and poke it through your lips into your mouth. The capsule will then float to the back of your throat. Then swallow. It will go down, and you won't even feel or taste it.

If it is a Sinker, take a mouthful of water, close your mouth, and tilt your head back so you are looking at the ceiling. Take the tablet and drop it into your mouth. The pill will drop to the back of your throat. Then swallow. It will go down, and you won't even feel or taste it.

• You can take more than one pill at a time, but be careful not to mix floaters and sinkers.

Eventually, you will get to the point where you can hand them the pill, and they will ask "Is it a floater or a sinker?" They'll take it - no gagging, no fussing, no tears or tantrums, no bad tastes, no dissolving pills.

And after you have your spouse trained, try it with the kids.

A Message to My Sons (Goofy version)

To my four sons:

I have great hopes and dreams for each of you. One day, I hope you will all find yourselves married to a wonderful EC. To help preserve that future union, I have begun a list that will bless your lives. It is ever-growing, and comes from knowledge gained by my own experience. If you will remember these 10 things, you will experience much more joy in your marriages and improve your odds of living a happy, peaceful life.

Never say the any of the following to your wife:

• You are overreacting.

• Is dinner ready yet?

• What's the Relief Society budget for magnets?

• What did you do all day?

• It's not a big deal.

• You can do it - just grab a screwdriver...

• It's not like I don't wear the same shoes to church every Sunday.

• Can't it wait until the game's over?

• Your hair looks great. (If you didn't really look)

• You sound like your mom.

Now I know that I have only listed ten, and there are many, many more. I'm sure my readers will submit others that will be of great value. Remember that this knowledge was gained by trials and tribulations of those who went before. Take it to heart, and one day, you will thank me.

Love,

Dad

The Blind Man and the Bus: The Moral of the Story

First of all, I would like to apologize for being so slow to post the followup to the last post.  I have spent a ridiculous amount of time thinking about this, and never felt settled enough to write this up.

If you did not read last Thursday's post, then the following will not make any sense. I recommend that you take two minutes and read the story and the comments. Here: http://middle-agedmormonman.blogspot.com/2012/01/story-in-search-of-moral.html

The comments were wonderful, full of insight that I had not considered. I was honestly impressed by the different approaches and thoughts that were offered.  Since I said that I would declare a winner, I will - but keep in mind, there is no right answer.

Winner: Kathryn McGinnis, from the lovely state of Michigan. Kathryn had an insightful answer, but she also won because she is so quick. She had her comment up just a few minutes after I posted the story.  So, congratulations Kathryn. I should also point our that Katie Richins, from Arizona, followed up quickly with that idea, and added some additional insights.

Here's what Kathryn said: That man knew where he was going because it was so familiar to him. Likewise, if we immerse ourselves in the gospel so that it becomes just as familiar to us, we will most definitely be able to find our way back to the presence of Heavenly Father, and even help others along who don't know the way so well.

Enough celebrating - now let's talk about this some more.  Here are a few reasons I thought this was difficult, and why I chose Kathryn:

1) The story was really about the blind man reaching his destination. Because of that, I couldn't see him representing God, Jesus, or the Holy Ghost.  They are all the opposite of blind, and it wouldn't make sense that any one of them were searching to find their way home.

2) The story wasn't really about me and my EC - we were merely observers - and the story would have happened the same had we been there to witness it, or not.

3) If the conditions were reversed, and the blind man had vision, and was directing a blind driver, it would make the God/Holy Ghost parallels more applicable. It would also have made for a much more exciting story, fraught with danger!

4) I think you could make a good case that the blind man represented a prophet, or church leader, and the driver represented us.  "How can an old man who lives in Salt Lake have any idea what I am going though? He doesn't know me, or my circumstances - how dare he give me directions?"


5) Finally, here are some thought I had last night as I was thinking about this:

We only got to see the blind man on the last leg of his journey. The bus driver had helped him, by following his directions and delivering him safely home - but he wasn't the only person who helped. Someone had helped this man get to the airport, check in, board the plane, find the correct seat, get from the plane to the shuttle, and a dozen more steps in between. All of those people provided a service to the blind man that he could not provide for himself.

After that idea dawned on me, I had two applications:

1) Each one of us who has a testimony of the gospel has a desire to return home. to our Heavenly Father.  We are also equipped the the knowledge of what we need to do to get there. (Kathryn) That knowledge comes from a lifetime of study, prayer, obedience and faith.  We know where we want to go, and what it takes to get there. We can describe it to others. We can also hang on to that knowledge when things get a dark. (Iron rod)

However, even with that knowledge and faith, and a firm grip on the iron rod, we are dependent on other people to assist us in attaining salvation. We are all aided by teachers helping us gain knowledge, priesthood holders performing the necessary ordinances, parents helping train our desires, and mostly, the Savior in provided the way to unlock the door, through the atonement. None of us can get home by ourselves. We are all dependent on others to do their part.

2) Lat thought: The blind man could also represent a person who died without the ordinances of the gospel, and is anxiously waiting in the spirit world. He is ready to prompt and open heart, and listening ear of someone on earth who is willing to perform those ordinances that he cannot do - ordinances that could let him return home.


Thank you all for playing along. I enjoyed this process - I hope you did too. If you did, let me know, and we'll do it again - I've got a million stories. (Next time, Crystal, I expect more out of you.)

Note:  Jocelyn added some good thoughts about this story and the ideas that flowed from it in her blog today - check it out: We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice in Christ

A Story in Search of a Moral

As you know by now, I have lot of stories. I would not presume to consider myself a raconteur, but I rarely give a talk or teach a lesson without some type of personal story to apply to the principle I am communicating. Some stories lend themselves to many lessons, some are more specific.

Once in a while I will have an experience, or hear about something that makes for a good story - but then when I try to figure out how it applies to my life and the gospel, I am left with nothing.  This is one of those stories...

A few years back, my EC an I took a vacation to San Francisco in full tourist mode. From the airport we took a shared shuttle to save money. We loaded up our luggage and climbed in with the other half-dozen passengers, gave the driver our destination, and off we went.  I must tell you wherever we go, whenever we go, every single time we use a shared shuttle, we are ALWAYS the last stop. Always. This would be no exception.

As we made stop after stop, there were only three passengers left: Me, my EC, and an elderly gentleman seated in the front row, right behind the driver. I had noticed when we boarded that he had a white cane with a red tip, and that he wore dark glasses on a cloudy day - he was blind.

Of course he would be dropped off before us (why break our streak?) but this time I was glad, because it became interesting. Now this was a few years back, before everyone had iPhones and every car had navigation. The driver would find a way by using a map or a radio to get directions.

The driver asked the blind man for the address, which the man furnished. The driver was not familiar with it. The blind man then chimed in, "I can get you there. Are we on Van Ness?"  The driver replied with a hint of surprise, "Yes we are."  (The street names may or may not be accurate, it was a while ago)

I was impressed.  The blind man then said, "Just follow Van Ness until you can turn right on Broadway, then go over to Hyde." The driver followed the directions with the blind man guiding him up the hill. As we made the last turn, he said to the driver, "Take the next right. There should be a big stone wall right in front of you."

There was a big stone wall in front of us.

"Now turn left and follow the wall until you get to the first house. That's me."  The driver followed the instructions exactly, pulled to the curb, and slid the door open. The blind man got out, paid the driver, and with cane in hand, headed up the stairs to his home.

For the next few minutes I quietly sat thinking about what I had just seen. It was remarkable.
-----

That's the end of the story, but I need a message, or moral to link to it. So I am turning to you.

How can this story be applied? What principles did it teach? Did anything jump out at you? As my loyal readers, it is time for you to give back - Please take a minute and think about how this story could be useful. Now, I don't want to hear obvious stuff like "Handicapped people deserve respect" or weird stuff like "The blind man represented messengers from Kolob and the driver was the anti-Christ." I just need your help in figuring out how to make this story applicable to something.

Please submit your ideas as a comment. I will pick my favorite tomorrow, and I will feature the winner on the post.

Thanks for your assistance!

.

Seeking Hidden Treasures

I would like to think that I am somewhat of a "romantic", but you would have to ask my EC. In the "+" column, I take my wife on a date almost every week. But in the "-" column, it seems that we almost always end up at the grocery store, Walmart, or the Dollar Store. (And I know we aren't the only ones) Friday night, it was the Dollar Store. Romantic? No. Entertaining? Yes.

As we were walking down the aisle that held the kitchen products, I noticed a display that consisted of hundreds and hundreds of plain white coffee mugs.  They were all identical - except one. One mug stood out, calling me.

Now I've seen Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade enough to know that the Holy Grail would not be an ornate vessel - but a plain, boring mug? Could it simply have been hiding in plain site all these years, in the Dollar Store? As I looked closer, I got another clue.

The mug was painted with a replica of D'Vinci's Last Supper. While fabulous, it could not possibly be the grail, as Da Vinci painted his version in the 15th Century. Besides, I figured that had this mug been from the appropriate era, it would have probably been part of an original set of 13 souvenir mugs.

TRUE STORY:  I stopped and got out my phone to take pictures. My EC immediately went on ahead. Why? I have no idea. While I was taking pictures of this mug, a little woman came up behind me with her shopping cart and stopped. I could sense that she was behind me, as I felt her eyes burning into the back of my head. I glanced around and noticed that she was, indeed, watching me intently as I was trying to get a good picture of the mug. I began to feel very self-conscious, knowing that I am looked like an idiot. So I stopped taking pictures, gave the lady a sheepish grin, and scurried off to catch up with my EC. I left the mug behind.

I had chosen poorly.

My wife asked me if I had gotten what I wanted, and I told her no, because some creepy lady was staring me down. So we circled around and went back to the mugs. It was gone. The creepy lady had taken the mug!

She had chosen wisely.

It was pretty funny, until we realized that the lady - with the mug in her cart - was now following us around in the store. If we stopped and looked at something, 15 seconds later, she would be looking at it too. It was as if we had become her personal "treasure hunters".

We eventually ditched her, finished our shopping, and left the store. Mug-less.

Oh, but I did see a couple of other things to share with you.

Yes, New Moon candy bars. Seems like a tremendous idea: Chocolate and Twilight. What's not to love? You would think that it would have been a HUGE success for half the poulation. (Except for maybe the Bella ones) From what I could tell, the werewolf bars were much better sellers that the vampire bars. (Go Team Jacob!)

I tried to think of a reason that these ended up at the dollar store. Then it occurred to me that if the candy makers were trying to be true to the movies, the candy would be very bland, and leave a really bad taste in your mouth.

Finally, I saw this, and knew it was time to leave:

It was a mazing to me how this little can could bring back all sorts of bad memories from my childhood. Yuck.

LDS humor, Mormon humorist

A Simple Gift & a T.Y. Challenge

I got a surprise gift in the mail a couple days back. No, I didn't win anything, nor did I get a tax refund. I got a "thank-you note".  This one was a little extra special, because it was completely out of the blue.  Here's part of what it said:

Dear Bro. "MMM":
It's now been twenty years since I was a scrawny deacon and you were one of my leaders. My thanks to you is long overdue...

This young man - who was in my scout troop in the early '90s - went on to say some really nice things that were very generous and humbling. I was thrilled to find that he now has a family of his own, and is true to the faith. (Getting a little teary here.)

It felt wonderful to hear how he was doing, and to find that I had made an impact all those years ago. It is humbling and invigorating at the same time.

I'm not telling you this to polish my halo, so don't get judgmental on me. ;)  Remember, one of the things I am focusing on this year is gratitude, and this sort of made my ears go up. Since then, I was thinking about what an easy thing it is to jot down a note that could make someone's day, and bless someone's life.

AND SO, my faithful readers.  I present to you the T.Y. Challenge. Yes, I am talking to you.

The challenge is for you to think about someone in your life who deserves your thanks, and let them know. Could be current, could be from long ago. Could be from family, could be from church, could be from school, could be from work - whatever. It could even be someone who you have had a falling out with, and need to extend an olive branch.

Got someone in mind?  I'll bet a name has already popped into your head. Run with it. Here are the steps:

1) Open your program, or take out a card or piece of paper. RIGHT NOW! I MEAN IT!
2) OK. Ready? Now stop reading this post and write the thank you note. When you are done, proceed to #3

3) Next, hit send, or get it ready to mail. Then come back for further instructions.
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(twiddling my digital thumbs and humming)
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4) Back already? How do you feel? Good? Sheepish? Blessed?
5) Next, write a comment about what you did - who you sent it to (no names please) and why, and how you feel.

That is today's TY Challenge.  I can't wait to se your responses.  I'll go first. (This is gonna be awesome!)


I'm done.  I just wrote an letter to a man that I worked with in the church some 15 years ago. Ours was very much that of a Master Jedi/Pawadan relationship - I being the Padawan. I learned a great deal from him about how to navigate personal relationships and how to help others do the same. He also helped reinforce how much fun it is to try and dig deeper into the gospel and continually try and improve our scriptural literacy. I wrote to him because I rarely see him anymore, and I think I appreciate him more now than I did then. I feel good, but surprisingly, I am a little nervous that he might think I'm nuts. Oh, well!

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Thou Shalt Not Judge

(I thought of this yesterday as I was reading through the comments)

Have a wonderful Friday!

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Q&A: Of Suits & Beards

This is a post in response to 2 questions I got back in December. I stalled until now.

Apparently, this is how it's done.

1)  Wardrobe question - my dear husband is on the Stake High Council. He's down to one very worn suit and refuses to purchase another because he says the minute he does, he'll get released.  What's your position on proper attire for callings requiring suits?

2) Mormons and Beards...?

Hmm...Could I be walking into a trap?  *stares into space - scratches chin*

OK. *Deep breath* Here goes.

Q: What's your position on proper attire for callings requiring suits.

A: I am not aware of any directives from the church mandating specific attire.*please note asterisk.  I don't have a position - but I do have an opinion. It might not be the same as yours. You can wear what you want to wear. I don't care.

I wear a suit, white shirt and tie to church every Sunday. I also get there early enough to sit on the soft benches. Yes, I am super-duper-righteous. When I was a bishop I wore the same thing. When I was in the High Council, I wore the same thing. When I was Scoutmaster, I wore the same thing. When I did not have a calling, I wore the same thing. I am nothing if not predictable. I'm not really that fond of white shirts. I rarely wear a white shirt or suit outside of church.

Why?

Reason #1: Because I don't dress according to my calling. I dress my best regardless of my calling - because I come to the church to present myself before the Lord and participate in sacred ordinances. I figure that is reason enough, but there's more.

Reason #2: I have four sons - three are preparing to serve missions, one already served. As Aaronic Priesthood holders, they have been counseled by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, Dalin Oaks & David O. McKay that young men should wear white shirts when participating in the ordinance of the sacrament, if possible.  Well, for us it is possible. So I join them in wearing a white shirt. As a father, I am not comfortable asking my children to live up to standards that I am not willing to live up to. (References: Holland, Oaks, McKay: Conference Report, 1956, p. 89)

Reason #3:  I get it.  Elder Christofferson said,

Some say dress and hair don’t matter—it’s what’s inside that counts. I believe that truly it is what’s inside a person that counts, but that’s what worries me. Casual dress at holy places and events is a message about what is inside a person. It may be pride or rebellion or something else, but at a minimum it says, “I don’t get it. I don’t understand the difference between the sacred and the profane.” In that condition they are easily drawn away from the Lord. They do not appreciate the value of what they have. I worry about them. Unless they can gain some understanding and capture some feeling for sacred things, they are at risk of eventually losing all that matters most. You are Saints of the great latter-day dispensation—look the part. (Link here)

So, for me it's a suit, white shirt and a tie. Easy.

* Oh, did you notice the big red asterisk? While there are no directives about attire for church callings or attendance, the second that your leader (Bishop, Stake President, Seventy, Apostle, Prophet) asks or instructs you to dress a specific way, it instantly ceases to be a fashion issue, and becomes an issue of obedience.

Simply put, it becomes an issue of PRIDE vs. OBEDIENCE. I have no compulsion to "express my individuality" by the way I dress at church on Sunday. I am perfectly content to let the Quorum dictate my decorum.

••• Gonna go get a soda - be right back... K, I'm back.

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Question #2:  Mormons and Beards.

Q: Mormons and Beards. (That isn't really a question now, is it? It seems more like a statement or a heading.)

A: I am not aware of any directives from the church mandating specific grooming standards.*please note asterisk.

I don't have a position. And I don't have a beard - I do have an opinion. It might not be the same as yours. I am clean shaven. No beard, no mustache. No real desire to have either. You? You can have a beard. Or a mustache. Even a Snidely Whiplash mustache if you feel it necessary to be "you". I have flirted with having a desire for facial hair, but will probably never grow it out. I have also never gotten past the "itchy" stage when I am on vacation.

Why?

Reason #1: Elder Russell M. Nelson was speaking in Conference a few years ago and said something that I think flew right by most everyone.  It is truly profound, which means you should read it twice. At least.

To bear the priesthood means you have a personal responsibility to magnify your calling. Let each opportunity to serve help to develop your power in the priesthood. In your personal grooming, follow the example of the living prophets. Doing so gives silent expression that you truly comprehend the importance of “the Holy Priesthood, after the Order of the Son of God.”  Russell M. Nelson, October Conference, 2003. "Personal Priesthood Responsibility"

Reason #2: I have four sons - three of which are preparing to serve missions, and I have a ward full of boys that I LOVE and am rooting for. As they are working to become missionaries, I don't want them running around with beards. I also do not want any of them to ever have cause to use me for an excuse for slacking off on their standards. "But mom, I don't wanna shave - brother MMM has a beard, and he used to be the bishop!" Elder Bednar gave a great talk a few years back about not waiting to become a missionary, but to start now. (Link here)  Again, I am not comfortable asking my children - or anyone else's children - to live up to standards that I am not willing to live up to. 

Reason #3: There are callings in the church that require a priesthood holder to be clean shaven. (Full-time mission, temple worker, etc.) I am not comfortable having personal grooming standards that would need to be modified in order to fulfill a specific calling. I also would not like to put a leader in the position where he would have to ask me to change in order to fulfill that calling. I want to be ready, at a moments notice, to serve wherever, however the Lord wants to use me - without needing to go home and shave, or make any other changes.

Lesser Reasons

Reason #4: Most beards do not look like George Clooney's. Please note picture above. If I looked like this with a beard, it might be a more difficult issue for me.

Reason #5: My wife doesn't like it.  Yeah, I know it isn't a very good reason, but I know a few guys who don't really care, but their wives are really obsessed and/or protective of their husband's beards. (Yes, we men are that malleable.)

* Second big red asterisk:  While beards and mustaches are not against any church standards or policies, the second that your leader (Bishop, Stake President, Seventy, Apostle, Prophet) asks or instructs you to be clean-shaven, it instantly ceases to be a personal grooming issue, and becomes an issue of obedience. I have been in wards where the request has been made. I also feel that a leader has the right to ask, if so inspired. It is fascinating to see how people grapple with that situation.

Again, it becomes an issue of PRIDE vs. OBEDIENCE.

And for those who employ the lamest reason of all...