Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Faith vs. Science
I almost forgot about this...
Two weeks ago, scientific research again butted heads with what I have always believed. Scientists from San Diego State University performed experiments and came to the conclusion that a practice many people cling to, is merely a baseless tradition.
I am talking about the 5 Second Rule.
Yes, studies have again disproven the idea that if a piece of food is dropped on the floor, and then picked up within the requisite 5 seconds, germs will not have time to adhere to the surface of the food, and it will be safe to consume. Here is a news report of the study: News Report.
This is not the first study of this kind. A scientist in 2004 won the Nobel Peace Prize for her research into the five-second rule and public health. (But that was before we knew that Nobel Peace Prizes are the societal equivalent of a Cracker Jack toy.) Even better, Mythbusters debunked the five-second rule - and if Adam and Jamie say it's busted, it's busted.
Yet I am a still bit conflicted. Let's dig a little deeper...
For starters, let's "Shoot the Messenger."
• San Diego State University (SDSU) has been widely known as being one of the Nation's top "Party Schools." How are we expected to believe research if we don't even know if the researchers were sober or hungover?
• SDSU has a "Surfing Team." How do we know that the bacteria that stuck to the food didn't come from something one of the students picked up that morning out in the ocean?
• I mean really, how many of these SDSU kids have actual children?
• BYU and SDSU had a 33 year sports rivalry. During that time, BYU won 79% of the football games, and 67% of the basketball games between the two schools. This has absolutely nothing to do with the study - I just like saying it.
Even if you buy into this idea of "scientific" proof that the 5 Second Rule is not valid, I think we can all find solace in knowing that there are many things we know that were not disproven by this recent study.
The SDSU study did not address any of the following:
• Wiping a dropped binkie on your jeans will sanitize it.
• If you knock a piece of meat off the grill, and it lands on the patio - and no one sees it - it never happened.
• The more kids you have, the more resistant to bacteria they become. For example:
1st child drops spoon? Get a new one out of the drawer.
2nd child drops spoon? Wash with antibacterial soap and give it back to kid.
3rd child drops spoon? Rinse under tap water for three seconds, and give it back.
4th child drops spoon? Pick it up and give it back.
5th child drops spoon? Let the dog finish licking it, then give it back.
• Re-dipping a spoon (or finger) into the peanut butter jar will not contaminate the peanut butter if you focus really hard on not leaving any germs in the jar..
• Blowing on candy that has been dropped dislodges all germs.
• Germs are less likely to adhere to the last piece of chocolate than the first.
• People that are in love can share a straw, all other straw-sharing is life-threatening. And just plain gross.
• Ice cream does, in fact, fill up the cracks, and freezes bacteria at the same time.
• Double-dipping tortilla chips is safe, but only if the salsa is hot enough.
• Tofu is really, really bad for you, or they wouldn't call it tofu.
• Miracle Whip is an abomination. (Just trying to be consistent here, folks.)
• Dog kisses are fine, Especially if you don't mind ringworm and fecal matter kisses.
Well, I hope that helps you out as you start your day. I am happy to be of service, and inform you of important things that science just hasn't gotten around to researching.
Have a happy, healthy day!
mormon humor lds humorist MMM