Saturday, May 19, 2012
It's all About the Fatigue
I worked through the night, courtesy of Mt. Dew and Ruffles Sour Cream and Cheddar potato chips. With bleary eyes, I wrapped things up around 4:45 this morning. On my way home, it occurred to me that it would be the prefect time to get some stuff I needed at the store without having to fight the crowds- so off to Walmart I went.
Turns out that this particular Walmart doesn't open until 5:00am. So, I actually stood outside the sliding door waiting until they unlocked it. What a geek. It felt really odd being the first customer.
Apparently there is a door prize for being the first customer of the day, because when I passed by the bakery/deli area, one of the bakery people asked me if I would like a free donut. What a stupid question. Of course I want a free donut. (For those who are concerned, it was a raised donut with chocolate icing.
One of the best parts about going to Walmart is the people watching. As I have mentioned before, there is actually a website dedicated to taking less than flattering pictures of Walmart shoppers. The refer to them as "People of Walmart." It is always fun to see if there are any contenders at our store. But, at 5:01am, there were precious few other customers.
I went on with my shopping...
Hang on - let me back up and do some description to help set the scene:
Last night, when I went back to work, it was all about comfort. I wore flip-flops, some baggy shorts, and an old, beat-up BYU shirt. I ended up staying there all night, and emerged into the daylight with gigantic dark circles under my red, tired eyes. I don't know if there were crumbs on my old shirt, but there were, at best, grease spots. My hair was disheveled, and I had my reading glasses perched on my nose. All-nighters used to be so much easier...
Now we can return to my shopping...
With donut in hand, I took a shortcut that lead me through the clothing department. Smack dab in front of me was one of those "People of Walmart." I took of my glasses, only to realize that it wasn't a "People of Walmart"- it was me!
Worse yet - I had become one of them!
I was leaning against my cart, munching on a donut, looking like a poster child for insomnia - dressed like a slob.
I'm hoping nobody took my picture...
Now that I have shared this abject humiliation with you, my loyal readers - I'm going to bed.