The third, and final installment - I promise! There is just so much to be grateful for. But, it is now time for me to focus on my gluttony.
Happy Thanksgiving to you, my friends!
First batch here.
Second batch here.
And the seemingly endless list goes on...
69) I am thankful that God does not punish me swiftly or publicly. That would be painful and embarrassing. And frequent.
70) I am thankful that I am more Stimpy, less Ren. It seems that it would be stressful to be Ren.
71) I am thankful that my sons now have the strength to do hard chores. Now for the desire.
72) I am thankful - every work day - that when the staff leaves, I can turn off the country music.
73) I am thankful that none of the FOMLs could be described as "Mormon Hipsters". (And I mean on-my-knees thankful.)
74) I am thankful that my eldest is old enough and smart enough that I can ask her opinion on important matters, and not have to pretend to care what she has to say.
75) I am thankful that our dog cannot talk. Based on his personality and behavior with his ball, he would probably never shut up. Ever.
76) I am thankful that Mozart was prolific in his short 35 years of life.
77) I am thankful that I live in a country that won't kill me if I voice my disapproval with the government.
78) I am thankful that I got to go to Girl's Camp for 5 years, and Scout Camp for who knows how many.
79) I am thankful that my kids reach a point with their music that their practices become something I desire to listen to, rather than suffer through.
80) I am thankful that Handcart Re-enactment Treks are not weekly occurrences.
81) I am thankful that I don't wake up every morning and wonder what I should be doing with my life. What to do with a day off, maybe.
82) I'm thankful that the vultures were able to help Mowgli escape from Shere Kahn.
83) I'm thankful that Ben & Jerry's is sold in convenient, single-serving containers.
84) I'm thankful that my deceased parents can't watch everything I do from the Spirit World. At least I hope they can't.
85) I'm thankful that my car does not burst into flames when I drive over a lit cigarette that some moron tossed out his car window. (It is a real phobia of mine, however.)
86) I'm thankful that I'm not one of those people who feel compelled to constantly tell everyone how much they love "Psych".
87) I am thankful that my resemblance to George Clooney is merely superficial, because I believe in marriage and family.
88) I am thankful that God created beaches, and I think it is a bummer that during the millennium we will lose most of them as the land masses become re-united.
89) I am thankful that my EC and I cook together often, and that we are both really good at it.
90) I am thankful that I have never been eaten by sharks or piranhas when I have been waterskiing.
91) I am thankful that we are not required by law to paint our houses pink for breast cancer awareness.
92) I am thankful that I have been married for more than half my life, and that it is better than my wildest dreams.
93) I am thankful that I didn't die from radiation poisoning from playing with broken thermometer mercury when I was a kid.
94) I am thankful that I don't work at Victoria's Secret. I get uncomfortable just walking by, and I would get in trouble for discouraging customers from buying items that aren't flattering for their body type.
95) I am thankful that there is a new Muppet Movie. Starring our less-active sister Amy Adams.
96) I am thankful that I was too young to know anything about women's health when Tony Orlando and Dawn had the hit song "Candida".
96) I am thankful for the traditional Thanksgiving feast, although I have been slow to embrace cranberries.
97) I am thankful that Louis Armstrong sang "What a Wonderful World" because he was the coolest, and that's how I feel.
98) I am thankful that my wife doesn't snore like I do.
99) I am thankful that I live at this time, and in this place, fighting the battle with my beautiful wife by my side, in an eternal family unit, fully, inextricably immersed in the gospel of our Savior.
100) I am thankful for my life. All of it. (I could do another 500, but you get the point.)
lds humorist, mormon humor