It also appears that the Church continues to ignore my request for a fake membership number so I could do an MMM profile - I imagine that would have generated some serious homepage traffic. But, I'm not bitter. I proudly embrace my humility.
Here is a screenshot of Brandon's profile:
The process of creating my profile made me feel pretty good about myself. Mostly because I didn't have to ask the clerk for my membership number - there are some of us who make it a point to always have a recommend - so all I needed to do was to find it. I filled out the form, waited a month, and 'presto' I now have a profile.
After I was finished, I was asked if I would be willing to write my response to a few questions about the Church. I thought I should do my part. The two questions I got were:
1) Please explain the song "If You Could Hie to Kolob" without laughing.
2) Please explain the difference between a "gym' and a "Cultural Hall'.
There is one small detail when I was creating my account that made my experience with Mormon.org less than stellar:
The search function.
First of all, nobody is ever, ever going to search for my profile. Male, caucasian, middle-aged? If you want to hear from one of us, all you have to do is show up at church on Sunday.
My problem is this:
More specifically, this:
Still can't see it? I'll point it out:
Yes. The Church has lumped me into the 2nd category away from death. When I leave this age bracket, the next one has no end, merely a "+" sign. That bracket is the end. The big finish. The Spirit World. It is "Hie to Kolob" time.
Would it have been that difficult to put a '50-59', '60-69', '70-79', and then an '80+death' bracket? That way I would be right in the middle. Right in the prime of my life. But no... now every time I visit myself on Mormon.org, my mortality is thrown in my face. I'm not ready to go... I still have so much to do...
Maybe it's not to late to start a band. Anyone?