• This is the third of a series of things that we hear at church on a regular basis that I wish people would stop saying. They are not big, honkin', scary things, just little expressions that you hear frequently that just don't quite work. (Grammatically or doctrinally) The introduction to this series is here. The first post is here, the second here.
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I was seventeen when I received my Patriarticle blessing. I had never met our Stake Patriarticle until that day, but he was great. Please don't confuse a Stake Patriarticle with the Partriarticles of old - for example Noah - he was the Patriarticle who built the Article to escape the flood with the animals.
Had enough? I've got more?
In England, they have a Queen. She is the country's Monarticle.
OK. I'll stop now. For those who aren't familiar with Patriarchal Blessings, they are wonderful. Here is a link to the Church website to learn more about them.
Sadly, there are approximately 3 million members of the church who do not know how to pronounce Patriarchal correctly. Most of them live in Utah.
I had the opportunity to serve as a Bishop and interview many people to receive their Patriarchal blessing. After the interview I would ask them to read the word "Patriarchal". It was amazing how many people pronounced it "Patri-article." It's like how most politicians can't correctly pronounce "nuclear". But I digress...
To do my part in helping my fellow man, here is a short lesson on the correct pronunciation of Patriarchal. Ready? Proceed.
Say "Patriarch".
Patriarticle.
No, just patri-ark, like the boat.
Patriarch.
Very good. Now say "ULL" as in seagull.
"Ull".
Very good. Now put them together.
Patriarch Seagull.
No. Just the "ull" part
Oh. Patri-article
That was close. Try again.
Patriarticle. (louder)
Not quite. This time I'll say "patriarch" you say "ull".
OK.
Patriarch...
...ull.
Good. This time you say both parts.
Patri...arch...ull.
Congratulations! You did it! Do it one more time.
Patriarchal! Patriarchal!
Perfect. I'm so proud of you.
Thank you for teaching me how to say patriarticle correctly.
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Ugh, I know! And when I correct people, they act surprised, even though they know the word "patriarch." Now a quiz for you. What is the word for "to go apostate"?
ReplyDeleteThank you for addressing this. However, I most often hear people mispronounce it as "patriotical". This pronunciation should only be used if you received your patriarchal blessing on the 4th of July.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with you on this one. In our neck of the woods, more people say it the wrong way than the right way. Maybe we should just change the name altogether...how about "the blessing you get from that really old guy who lives somewhere in your steak, I mean stake"?
ReplyDeleteFunny funny post! I have to admit I have a hard time with nuclear. I just can't do it. so I say "nu u lar" with the knowledge I am wrong wrong wrong.
ReplyDeleteI am, however, not so dense that I can't correctly say patriartical. Duh.
"Patriotical." Rich.
ReplyDeleteI have found that learning to say these words in German really helped me to say them in English. (Maybe it's like Demosthenes trying to speak with all those pebbles in his mouth...)
Now, can we start on Melchizedek?
I admit, I'm one that says it wrong. I don't know that I ever really thought much about whether I was pronouncing it wrong. It's like mountain becoming 'mounain'. We just change letters or just drop letters from words when talking.
ReplyDeleteI'll try and pronounce it right, but I can't guarantee. This many years of saying it wrong will take a little practice to say it right.
You ought to do a post about "paradisiacle." It usually comes out at paradisacle. I've had to correct several Primary folks as they try to teach the kids that article of faith.
ReplyDeleteyes, this one drives me nuts. I'm always correcting people. It's especially sad when you are correcting adults who should've know how to say it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post, MMM. We have many of the same pet peeves. Ditto to Paul. Learning German helped me with some of these pronunciations, especially Melchizedek, which sounds way cooler in German. Is anyone else irritated with the way some older people pronounce the name of the Ensign Magazine? It's not a military rank.
ReplyDeleteI can't even count how many people say "Kirkland", instead of Kirtland, Ohio. We Mormons just love Costco so much, we're replacing church history locations with their brand names!
ReplyDeleteHahahaha! Oh this is so incredibly witty.
DeleteI can't even count how many members say "Kirkland" instead of Kirtland, Ohio. Looks like Costco is taking over the church history sites!
ReplyDeleteThis is probably one of my biggest pet peeves! I quit trying to correct people now because they never learn. All I do is bow my head in embarrassment until they are done talking.
ReplyDelete