• This is the third of a series of things that we hear at church on a regular basis that I wish people would stop saying. They are not big, honkin', scary things, just little expressions that you hear frequently that just don't quite work. (Grammatically or doctrinally) The introduction to this series is here. The first post is here, the second here.
I was seventeen when I received my Patriarticle blessing. I had never met our Stake Patriarticle until that day, but he was great. Please don't confuse a Stake Patriarticle with the Partriarticles of old - for example Noah - he was the Patriarticle who built the Article to escape the flood with the animals.
Had enough? I've got more?
In England, they have a Queen. She is the country's Monarticle.
OK. I'll stop now. For those who aren't familiar with Patriarchal Blessings, they are wonderful. Here is a link to the Church website to learn more about them.
Sadly, there are approximately 3 million members of the church who do not know how to pronounce Patriarchal correctly. Most of them live in Utah.
I had the opportunity to serve as a Bishop and interview many people to receive their Patriarchal blessing. After the interview I would ask them to read the word "Patriarchal". It was amazing how many people pronounced it "Patri-article." It's like how most politicians can't correctly pronounce "nuclear". But I digress...
To do my part in helping my fellow man, here is a short lesson on the correct pronunciation of Patriarchal. Ready? Proceed.
No, just patri-ark, like the boat.
Very good. Now say "ULL" as in seagull.
Very good. Now put them together.
No. Just the "ull" part
That was close. Try again.
Not quite. This time I'll say "patriarch" you say "ull".
Good. This time you say both parts.
Congratulations! You did it! Do it one more time.
Perfect. I'm so proud of you.
Thank you for teaching me how to say patriarticle correctly.