Disclaimer: Before I enlighten you about St. Patrick, I should disclose that I am not Catholic, and do not recognize "Saints" - other than those we see every Sunday - they are identifiable because they arrive on time. While this may come as a shock to many of you who are not careful readers, I am, in fact, Mormon.
This is St. Patrick:
He lived in the British Isles in the 4th Century A.D. blah, blah, blah. Patron Saint blah, blah, blah. Snakes, blah, blah, blah.
This is his cool dog:
We don't know much about him, but he looks like he is part poodle.
These are some of the things that he apparently invented:
Green Bowling Balls. Before the 4th Century A.D. they were all black and hand-carved.
Sweet Vans - think Irish Spicoli
(Yes I had to look it up shillelagh. I have never typed that word before in my life.)
Now that you are informed and better prepared to celebrate St. Patrick's Day tomorrow without Guiness, remember these three things:
1) Do not pinch me. If you pinch me for not wearing green, I will pinch you back and it will be black and blue. I don't play fair.
2) Do not feed me green eggs and ham. Especially when the ham looks like zucchini.
3) Increase your chlorine as the weather warms up if you are a pool owner. Algae can take over quickly.
You are very welcome. Just doing my part.